Monday, June 2, 2008

I now belong to...

A select grp of people who are sitting in front of their monitor, blogging, at 0420 hrs in the morning.

Caffeine high? Maybe. I did have 6 cups of coffee today. So, I'm awake, but without the high. So its caffeine-induced-insomnia-minus-the-high. Maybe.

Too many things on my mind? Maybe. I'm thinking about a lot of things, without thinking of anything at all. Random thoughts racing all over the place. Almost like the scenes out of Speed Racer; a lot of movement, a huge blur of blinding fuschia and pink neon, sparks and explosions, then nothing left, but a sickening sense of WTF.

Maybe, I'm actually afraid to fall asleep. Afraid of what, who I might see once I close my eyes. Dreams that I've long forgotten are returning. Dreams I don't want to remember are repeating. I hear the same voice, the same voice from 8 years ago, saying: "Its me, don't you recognise me anymore?" This dream, I started having about 2 months ago, when I came across this girl at The Central who looked almost exactly like her. On and off, off and on. Now its back. I wonder when its going away.

No solace at home; no respite from work.

And I'm afraid to dream.

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